What now?

>> September 15, 2010

What happens when you graduate? 

~ a friend of mine keeps asking me this question. I wish I knew the exact answer. In general, the last few years have been easy to plan around. Hard, stressful, and annoying: yes, but I at least knew what was most important to me. School.

There was always school there to plan around. I knew that if my work schedule didn’t work with school, I needed to find something different. Firm was my belief that school was my first priority, everything else came second, or third, or fourth, etc. School was going to lead me to my career.

But now what?

Over this last summer I took a class that mostly focused on applying to graduate schools, and what comes next after getting a Bachelors in Behavioral Science. It was a very interesting class. I feel like it taught me a lot. Especially, surprisingly, with things that I thought I already knew about, like resumes. I learned many tips and tricks that I had never even thought about before.

However, that class left me slightly anxious when it comes to graduate school applications. I feel like there is so much to do! Like perhaps I need another 4 years just to gather up and prepare to apply!

I have known for a while that I will take a year off between graduating with my Bachelors, and attending Graduate school. This will give me time to perhaps intern somewhere, rack up some more volunteer hours, and frankly, take a break. {as I’m actually doing the whole applying process}

I feel like there should be some sort of goal list {you know I like lists… you have noticed right?}. A list of things to do on my year off, however, then I thought holy shit why would I want to make a list of things to do on my YEAR OFF? Why don’t I take it just as that, a year off?!

Perhaps the thing behind the goal list, is then maybe my life would look predictable again: I have no idea what will happen after graduation. I have no idea where I will be doing my practicum. And I have no idea if it will all work with my current job like I want it to. That’s part of the problem, {or is it a problem?} I actually enjoy my job. Most days. But it has nothing to do with social work.

Who knows. Maybe I could do both. I only work 32 hours, is that part time? It feels like more than that...  Maybe I will only be able to find a part time social work related job. Maybe I will want to travel, and jobs won’t even matter for a while. {but then where will I find the money... } There are those French internship programs that I keep looking at. There are those African humanitarian treks that I always want to go on.

I fear the unknown.

And I have a whole year to be afraid.

What are you currently afraid of?



3 comments:

Amanda M September 17, 2010 at 9:47 AM  

I share you fear my friend!! I have NO idea what I am doing with my life!!! Haha!
It was so simple when we were little.... someone would ask what you wanted to be when you grew up and you knew right off the bat!! There was no thought at all about the process of getting to that job!! And that some things might come up on the way and you may or may not like those better than what you origianally planned! AHHHHHHH!
I miss those days sometimes!! It's hard to know what to do now...... stay where you have been for awhile because it is safe and familiar..... or just go for it and see how it turns out!
GOOD LUCK!!

amisare waswerebeen September 18, 2010 at 4:44 PM  

Same thing. The unknown. We are getting ready to head back to NM. H may have a job when we get there and we may be able to get a place of our own. But we also want to go back to UT and I am still going to apply to the Air Force. So many variables, so many unknowns. At least we're in good company, eh?

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