AHH Stereotypes, seriously?!

>> March 21, 2009

Today as I was tagging purses at work, I noticed that one of my coworkers, that was helping me, was wearing a Chris Brown Concert T-shirt. I couldn't resist. I probably shouldn't have, but I said "whoooa, Chris Brown, really?" and she replied with "yeah yeah yeah I don't care, Rihanna deserved it." I was stunned. I am sure it was written all over my face. For those that don't really know me personally, I am someone where my emotions unapologetically show all over, my face. Especially when it is disgust or surprise. My poker face takes a few seconds to cover up my true feelings, so I'm sure this coworker, and the other one helping us could see how annoyed I was. Now, I do have to say that this Chris Brown loving coworker has already gotten under my skin and bothered me. She's young, she's spoiled, she gets whatever she wants, and she acts like she knows absolutely everything. Talk about annoying.

However, even putting the fact that she already bugs me aside, I couldn't believe it. THEN it got worse, not better. The other coworker decided to join in, and they went on to discuss how most girls (one of them even said especially black girls What the.. ?!), can be really annoying, and that a lot of the times girls that get hit do deserve it. Some of what they said that left me stunned~~~

  • She deserved it.
  • Rihanna asked for it.
  • If a girl gets a guy mad like that she has to expect him to get angry.
  • We don't know what she did.
Maybe I'm old fashioned. These girls are at least 4 years younger than me, but I don't understand. I was so stunned something that doesn't usually happen to me occurred: I was silent, I had no idea what to say or how to make sure all the words that came out of my mouth were work appropriate, so I just stared at the purses. I suddenly got very interested in the new shipment. Then, as they kept on, for what seemed like forever, I had to say something. I should have said more, but what I did say I think totally surprised them, they acted like I was the bad person. It was crazy! I said something like, "I'm sorry but none of us were there, we don't know what happened. But we do know what she looked like, and what the doctors have said about her injuries. No one should be beat up like that, especially since he supposedly loves her." My small rant didn't do much to stop their talking, but I'm glad I said something.

For the record, I am annoyed that Rihanna went back to Brown after he did what he did to her. However, it is very very common to go back to your abuser when you're in an abusive relationship. You feel trapped, and ashamed, and there are strange stigmas surrounding abuse, such as what happened at my work today. I was amazed. Especially because it was coming from girls! I don't think abuse like that is okay, by anyone, no matter their gender! BUT what bothers me most is that girls are already put down a lot by society, where people don't believe a girl when she says someone raped her, or in this instance, where the girl had to have done something to provoke the abuser. Abuse is never okay. Girls need to stick together, we should all be fighting abuse, not questioning the victims.

Ew. This article also proves the point, guess the girls at my work aren't the only ones. Click here to read the Guardian (UK) article: Survey: Half of Boston teens blame Rihanna for Chris Brown beating. Here's a snippet or two:
The survey of 200 Boston youths age 12 to 19 found that 51% said Brown bore responsibility, 46% said Rihanna was responsible, and 52% said both were to blame for the incident. In addition, 52% said the media were treating Brown unfairly, and "a significant number of males and females" surveyed said Rihanna was destroying Brown's career.

This is beyond disturbing. Somehow our children have learned that violence is an acceptable and appropriate response to a domestic disagreement. This is what children learn from media messages like this cover of broad-circulating supermarket tabloid Star, which purports to reveal "What made Chris snap". As if Rihanna could have said something to which the brutal attack of which Brown is accused was an understandable reaction. As if she stepped over the line and the vicious blows that bloodied her nose and mouth and swelled her eyes and forehead were justified.
Click here for the official link to the survey done in Boston.

What's your opinion?

6 comments:

Lauren♥Jaden♥Kaylie March 21, 2009 at 8:55 PM  

I completely agree with everything you said. It doesn't matter what Rihanna did or didn't do to Chris Brown, NO woman deserves to be hit and mortified like that. Love does not hurt!
It saddens me that some girls (your co-workers) think its okay for a girl to be hit if she deserved it or pushed the guy's buttons. Talk about lack of respect for themselves!

Amber March 21, 2009 at 11:41 PM  

That's just sad those girls would think that, omg. He didn't just push Rihanna or hit her, he beat the crap out of her. I'm pretty appalled that she is back with him after that, she is supposed to be a role model for young girls. I understand that it's INCREDIBLY difficult to leave an abusive relationship, but you'd think with the resources she'd have being a celebrity she'd do it.

The whole situation makes me incredibly sad!

Ardie March 22, 2009 at 3:16 PM  

Good for you for saying something, Nicole, even if it was like talking to a brick wall. I agree with you 100% on everything that you've said here. Abuse is NEVER justifiable!

Fidget Midget March 22, 2009 at 5:47 PM  

Good for you for voicing your opinion about it to your ignorant co-workers! I really don't understand how people can say Rihanna deserved to get beaten to a bloody pulp. What happens if she had been beaten so badly that she died? Would she have deserved that?

Kim J March 29, 2009 at 9:08 PM  

Those girls are so stupid! It really isn't saying anything good about men to think 'oh they are going to hit you no matter what so you better not give them a reason'.

K.J. Timothy April 15, 2010 at 9:59 AM  

Poor girls. Most are so quick to assume that they know what went on. I wish people would stop being so addicted to celbrities' lives. Way to go, blogger. Thanks for standing up to the ignorance.

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